burden in me goes higher than anyone thought.

"beli yang 3 ratus dah laaaa.." "ouh, kat tisya boleh plak beli ipad." "min nak buat apa, nanti bukan boleh bawak p maktab" "aku tak kira, kalau hampa tak beli kat aku, hampa tunggu tengok motor kat luaq tu nak calaq!" "mama, awat syamin jadi macam ni tah?" sapa suruh hantar aku dok dalam penjara tuu! tengok! aku dah jadi macam ni baru hampa nak tanya kenapa?! aku tau aku ni macam mana! ayat macam *APA jaa "awat syamin jadi macam ni?" ! tak boleh ka bagi ja apa yang aku nak?! hampa susah sangat ka nak bagi iphone kat aku?! alasan sebab aku tak boleh bawak p maktab. aku akan dapatkan apa yang aku nak! tak kira macam mana pun! sapa suruh hampa selalu fullfil request aku, hampa tak pernah cakap TAK! tapi sekarang bila aku nak, hampa tak bagi! daripada hampa habiskan duit hampa untuk benda lain, baik aku habiskan! ingat! aku marah memang aku tak boleh control! tapi aku boleh hidup ja kat maktab sebab aku selalu senyum orang cakap apa pun kat aku! aku sayang member2 aku lagi! hampa kalau rasa aku ni menyusahkan sangat, bagi kat aku duit ribu ribu tiap bulan and aku takkan balik rumah tengok muka hampa! TAKKAN! ARGHHHH! memang aku panas baran! tapi hampa pun tak cerdik dok pi bagi aku panas! aku akan buat apa saja yang aku nak!

PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT?

OHHH what the hell lah malam puteri tahun ni tema QUEEN FIRE? aku segan tahap laa nak pakai gaun, skirt apa semua tuu depan batch aku. cubemate aku mesti gelak tak ingat dunia punya laa kat aku. siap cakap aku akan jadi 'princess of the night' lagi. teruk tol.. kayy, FYI, malam puteri ialah MALAM NI! kayy case's closed. EXAM baru habis. hmmmmm. dapat markah rendah science, sedih gila kot! lepas tu balik nanges sorang sorang dalam toilet. TAK MALU KAN? SAPA SURUH TAK FOCUS DALAM KELAS! BANGSAT! ERMMMM.. hari ni outing, aku datang amek. p secret recipe dulu sebelum balik rumah. and beli barang dulu. tak banyak barang sangat pun. TENNIS. aku main tennis. wakil maktab untuk MSSPs. aku pun taktau sejak bila aku minat main tennis. 27 haribulan ni ada game. hmmm doa doa menang. Aminnn. AKU LAPAQ. makan dulu kayy. bukan senang nak makan kat rumah. KAYY BYE! JAP JAP! sebelum tu aku nak gitau yang aku dah delete post sebelum ni yang pasal REGE @ ZORE @ ZORO.

i had so many haters.. i knew that.

they called me 'gangster/syamin/soluble/panadol'..
hmmm.. whatever u call me, at least i am real.

THE TRUTH IS.. I LOVE..

hmmm.. u know what. there's a person who always in my mind besides my family, wan and my friends. i think im loving him although i know he loves someone else and he hates me. he hate me. there's no love for me in his heart.

Sometimes it's hard to love someone because you're so afraid of losing them. is he afraid of losing me? of course not. he just don't love me.

hey my love. love, I know in reality we can't be together, so I just close my eyes and you're right here with me.. in my dreams you're mine forever. when I look at you my heart skips a beat but later that beat could mean a lifetime of tears wasted on something I knew I could never have. could never have. COULD NEVER HAVE. u know what? Its hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone if your heart still does. i might be able to cheat my friends but i can't deceive my own feelings.

THE TRUTH IS I LOVE HIM. MY MOUTH AND MY HEART NOT MEAN THE SAME THING. CAUSE MY MOUTH SAID I HATE HIM BUT MY HEART SAID I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

LOVE, please love me back.

Its hard to hold on to something
that you know would never
be yours in any way you think of,
you just have to learn to let go
and face the fact that
while good things never last...
Some don’t even start...

okayy i'm back!

hehe. hye there. i hope u're happy now. actually i've no point to share with you. i had just come back home yesterday and my feeling is normal. i'm not sad and i'm not so happy. but i'm always with my smile :) whether it's fake or not, it's none of your business okayy? hehehe.

ahah! i just remember something that happenned this evening. WHAT A SHAME! hmmmm.. as usual when i'm out wif my sista, i'm not wearing hijab. and this evening when we're having dinner at a restraunt, WE MET WONG [my senior and my enemy]. i think he recognize me, but i'm just act cool and pretended don't ever know him. luckily he don't posted anything to my wall about that incident cause i saw he's online just now.

my words! don't u dare interrupt my business!

I HATE MY FAMILY. FREAKING HATE THEM! TOTALLY HATE! I HOPE I'M DIE RIGHT NOW! fiuhhhhhhhhhhh -.-'. ok bye.

terkejut kenapa aku upload pic mamat ni? nama dia muhammad hafiz. orang panggil jimmy. aku panggil KERBAU SIAM. sebenarnya dia ni musuh aku. aku pun taktau kenapa dia benci sangat-sangat kat aku. ada ja benda yang dia tak puas hati pasal aku. padahal, salah yang aku buat kat dia dulu, tak besar mana pun. actually kadang-kadang aku tekanan perasaan jugak dengan dia ni.

ada satu hari tuu, aku and geng-geng bola baling yang lain nak guna court, sesaja main. sebab sebelum ni pun kami main kat situ. tapi bila dia nampak ja aku, dia terus tak bagi kami main kat situ. dia cakap dia and member-member dia nak main futsal kat situ. padahal sebelum ni tak gatal nak main pun. nasib ja dia form5.

aku ni memang la kalau tengok macam orang takdak perasaan ja. tapi takpayah la layan aku teruk-teruk.

In my dreams, you`re mine. In my life, you`re a dream. :(

SEDIH kan bila kita admire orang yang tak penah tau kewujudan kita?

heyyyy, still pretending im not exist?! :'(

Honestly, I`d never thought that I would like you this much. I wonder what goes through your mind when someone mentions my name to you.

There are a lot of people who call you by your name, but there is only one person who can make it sound so special.♥ 'syamin!'

ya Allah, seandainya ditakdirkan kebahagiaan, simpanlah dia untukku.

sendainya dia bukan untukku, bawalah dia jauh dari pandanganku, luputkanlah dia dari ingatanku dan peliharalah aku dari kekecewaan.

aku ni suka berharap pada sesuatu yang tak mungkin kan? perasan bagus. ingat apa yang aku nak, aku boleh dapat ka? sedar diri syamin...

siapa yang tahu blog aku?

aishhhh. heran betul aku. aku rasa tak banyak orang tau pun pasal kewujudan blog aku. aku ada bagitau kat 4, 5 orang ja. tapi kenapa ramai WHATTHEFUCK kan post aku?! hahaha. shiall laaah. aku buat blog bukan sebab apa pun, aku just nak tulis amenda yang aku rasa ja. aku takboleh tulis diari sebab aku bukan reti jaga. kalau tulis kat facebook, ramai plak orang komen. so, aku buat blog. hehe.

tau sebab apa aku dah lama tak update?

sebab aku patah hati, sebab aku benci, sebab aku rasa aku nak bunuh someone! okaaay. lega. hahahaha. aku ni cam gila kaan? tak, maksud aku macam orang tekanan perasaan. hahahaha. whateverrrrrrrr. entah kenapa aku lebih keypad laptop daripada phone. memang lah =.=' krokh. hahahahaha.

untuk ATHIRAHH..

sorry yaww.. hehe.

*time ni kat langkawi :)